The first thing that hit me when I walked into the store was the smell. I guess all vitamins have that weird smell that I will never get used to. If I had a supplement store I would pipe in cheeseburger smells so you would get hungry while you were there and buy more of those protein bars to munch on. Its simple marketing.

The second thing that hit me was the salesperson. She came bouncing across the store before landing in front of me with her most cheerful smile.

“How can I help you today,” she said with more enthusiasm than should be allowed.

“I think I need something to give me more energy,” I replied as calmly as possible. Bouncy people always make me nervous.

“I see,” she looked me up and down and said, “Are you looking for a fat burner?”

I don’t know why, but the question kind of surprised me. “So what are trying to imply,” I asked in a rather annoyed voice, “are you trying to say I’m fat?” Miss Bouncy quit bouncing for a few seconds and looked for cover.

“No, no,” she stammered, “I, um, err, just meant that, well ... we have some on sale!” She shifted nervously from one foot to the other while waiting to see if I would let her off the hook. I have to admit I was feeling more comfortable with her feet planted firmly on the ground.

“Well then,” I smiled, “show them to me.” She looked relieved and immediately started bouncing again. She led me across the expansive store that was void of other shoppers to a wall of small bottles. There was every type of diet pill know to man. But that's not all. The surrounding shelves were full of products claiming to have incredible life giving properties.

There were products for recovery, rest, relaxation, muscle building, fat loss, and even sex. I think a couple of those pills were designed make you ten foot tall and bulletproof... or at least let you think you were. There were ingredients I didn't know existed much less that I had to ingest them or die! What the hell is tribulus terrestris and how did I manage to survive this long without it? After reading several of these labels I happened to glance at the bottom of one of the bottles. Guess what the fine print had to say...

Now that I began looking closely there were labels that warned of all kinds of horrible things. There is stuff in those bottles that can cause dizziness, rapid heart rate, headache, shortness of breath, nervousness, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, and nausea. If that's not bad enough how about heart attacks and strokes! I'm just wondering how this stuff can be considered good for you.

With this in mind I looked around a little more until I settled on a product that I think will help me. I'm not sure what it does but I couldn't pass it up...