In my first year as a fat triathlete I have gained a lot of experience. On the other hand I have always felt that experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. It's been a long year and I have to admit this Triathlon thing is harder than it looks.

As you have probably read, I was bitten by a fish, threatened by big rednecks, and chased by dogs. In addition, I had shin splints and some other leg problem that I wouldn't have gotten if I had just stayed home and watched T.V. I didn't work out hard enough in the beginning and then skipped to the other side of the spectrum and got burn out. How do I keep going you ask? I don't. The doctor said I had to quit for a while and let my leg heal up from what he called overexertion. Why didn't he think a 265 lb Fatguy jogging would be overexertion when I went to him a year ago?

While things didn't go exactly as planned there were a few positives. I have lost about 30 lbs since last year and I can walk to my truck without getting winded. My blood pressure dropped and my dog gets to go with me when I jog. I'm sure there are more good things I'm not remembering right now. For some reason the weird things that happen to me seem to stand out more than the good things. Now, after a two month lay off, I am ready to get back on track and try to FINISH a Tri this next year. Hopefully things will go better even though the worse I get hurt the funnier my brother thinks it is.

Anyway, here are a collection of musings from the year. It's the true comedy of errors that is my life...

First of all swimming...

1. I guess I should have known that swimming two laps in a pool and swimming 800 yards across a lake would be different. Now I have to pay a fat lady to jump in the pool as I swim by to get the wave effect.

2.How was I supposed to know that my nipples look like a high dollar bass lure flopping around at the surface.

3.Someone could have warned me that even heated swimming pools are cold enough to raise your voice two octaves at 5 am.

4.I was happily surprised to learn that ingested salt-water has the same effect as bulimia without all the social stigma.

5.Fifty yards from the boat in 65 degree water is equal to being 400 yards away when it's 80 degrees.

6.Leg cramps suck.

Then there was the bike...

1. ALWAYS carry spare tubes when more than five feet from the truck.

2. ALWAYS carry twice as much water as you need so you can replace the tube without dehydrating.

3. I don't care what they look like, padded seats are a necessity.

4. Lots of gravel + lots of brake = less skin.

5. Always mark the spot where the bike went into the lake so it will be easier to find later.

6. Leg cramps suck.

And finally the running...

1. My shoes used to last several years.

2. Choking down bananas to keep from getting leg cramps suck.

3. Take plenty of water in case you get lost on the jogging trail.

4. Why is everyone always going the wrong way on the jogging trail?

5. Flying off the back of a treadmill is just as embarrassing the third time as it was the first time.