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Cat Fight at the Pool |
It probably seems like a stretch but I do try to go do laps on occasion. Not that anyone would mistake me for a world class swimmer but the other day I ended up at the pool just in time. The Jr. Olympic sized pool is both heated and covered since down south we don't like any type of cold weather. I picked a slow lane and was working on my freestyle stroke in slow motion... ok, it was full speed it just looked like slow motion. There were two young girls with swim coaches training seriously for some upcoming event and only one other lap swimmer besides myself ( I use the term "lap swimmer" in the broadest sense). I hadn't been wet five minutes when in comes a pack of 7 year olds to hit the pool. I like kids sometimes but with a dome enclosure all the squealing creates havoc on my equilibrium so I retreated to the deep end where I thought I would be safe. Within minutes the pool was crawling with kids like a sandwich left in the park to ants. There was only one young teenage girl watching the kids, or at least she was supposed to be watching them. After ten minutes of kids run amuck one of the lady swim coaches had enough and walked over to have a chat with the lifeguard. I missed this part because my fingers slipped off the wall and I went under for a bit. When I came back up for air the kids were moving to another part of the pool. Guess where... that's right, the deep end. Almost half a dozen kids with floaties and high pitched screams were coming my way. Again I retreated to the opposite side of the pool but before I could get there a screaming match began and it wasn't the kids. The swim coach took exception to the 30 or so pieces of water aerobic barbells and kickboards floating across the lanes where her charge was backstroking at about 10 knots. The girl was running into debris like a drunken ship captain on an oil tanker. This infuriated the coach and she made sure, in no uncertain terms, that the life guard knew it. The life guard yelled right back across the pool and the fight was on. Kids scrambled into the deep end as the coach rounded the deep end and headed for the teen life guard. The life guard got out of her chair for only the second time since entering the pool area as the coach was bearing down on her. I must mention at this time that both the coach and the life guard were wearing t-shirts, there was a pool full of water, both were pissed and besides all the kids, I'm thinking we have the makings of a good beer commercial. Personally I was scared and hiding in the water up to eye level. I would have stayed on the bottom but I wanted to see what was going to happen. Then I realized, I should be up there trying to stop this from going any further. My next thought was the amount I paid for gym dues and I decided to let the best woman win! The coach definitely had the advantage in overall size and fitness. Obviously she was a coach for a reason and as she approached, the lifeguard began to appreciate this fact and fell back into her chair. With a bewildered look on her face she covered up as the coach reached her... and then passed right on by. She stormed out of the pool area as the shaken teen started talking excitedly into her two-way radio. In a few minutes another young girl came out to watch the kids who, by this time, were back in full swing doing cannon balls into my lane. The coach returned with a club manager to find the teen gone and I guess they eventually worked it out. After I realized it wasn't going to be as good as pay-per-view I lost interest. I was quite proud of the fact that I hadn't gotten involved but when I climbed out of the pool the manager stopped me, "Sir, did you see what happened?" "No Ma'm I had my head down doing serious laps." Well, for all she knew I could have been. Besides, for once I wasn't in the middle of a traumatic event. Why screw up a good thing... |